Episode 12 – Stop Future Chasing and Avoid Burnout with these 3 Tips

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour
ThirtyFiveSixtyFour
Stop Future Chasing and Avoid Burnout with these 3 Tips
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Show Notes:

Are you a “future chaser”? Are you constantly pushing for “the next thing” and forgetting to appreciate where you are right now?  

Join us as we explore these insights and more with our special guest, Tiffany Wilson, a seasoned marketing and communications professional who has navigated her career with resilience and grace. Tiffany shares her incredible journey from Southern California to Philadelphia, including an adventurous cross-country move during the COVID-19 pandemic. Together, we dissect the dual nature of “future chasing”—how it can drive us to succeed but also lead to burnout and discontent if left unchecked. We delve into practical methods for maintaining a positive mindset, such as writing thank you notes to oneself and keeping a gratitude journal. We highlight the significance of self-affirmations and the impact of focusing on abundance rather than lack.  

Tiffany Wilson juggles roles as a devoted wife, mother, avid traveler, roller coaster enthusiast, and enthusiastic high-fiver. Beginning her career at a boutique integrated marketing agency, she progressed to amplify the narratives of many renowned brands. Presently, she spearheads social media initiatives for Comcast NBCUniversal at its Philadelphia corporate base. Originally from Southern California, Tiffany, along with her spouse and two children, Miles and Nola, made the move to Pennsylvania amidst the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, settling in the Philadelphia suburbs.  

In this episode: 

  • Tiffany’s career journey included Walmart and other leading brands 
  • “Future chasing” – a curse and a trap 
  • Burnout – what it means to different people, common causes 
  • Regaining balance – taking a breath, gratitude 
  • Thank you notes – sending , receiving, even writing them to yourself! 
  • Keeping a gratitude journal, positive affirmations 
  • Physical and emotional symptoms of burnout 
  • Talking to your 25-year-old self 
  • The game – “You Know You’re Old When…’ 
  • Send me your comments and feedback on the show! 

ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility. With new episodes released weekly, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is positioned to become one of the fastest-growing podcasts of the year, providing both valuable insights and entertainment for those in the middle. 

So, subscribe and get ready to join show host Karen and the ThirtyFiveSixtyFour regulars for both serious and fun conversations around living middle age to the fullest. After all, it’s not too late. You’re not too old. And you’re definitely NOT dead. 

Resources: 

Positive Affirmations for Self-Love, Self Esteem, Confidence 
Powerful Positive Morning Affirmations 
Positive Affirmations to Change Your Life 
How to Practice Gratitude 
8 tips to help you cultivate an attitude of gratitude 
Tiffany Wilson LinkedIn 
thirtyfivesixtyfour.com 

Show Transcript:

[00:00:00] Tiffany Wilson: First of all, I’m doing the best I can.

I don’t have it all figured out, but I do feel like practicing gratitude has been one of the best ways for me to start to be on this road of recovery. And it’s really about pausing. Like when I feel out of control or when I feel like, oh, I’ve got to do this thing. Or again, being on vacation, planning the next vacation, pausing, taking a breath and looking around and going, oh my gosh, I’m thankful for this. I’m grateful for that. And it could be the smallest things to the biggest thing.

[00:00:45] Karen Stones: Welcome to another episode of 3564, a podcast for the middle. I am so excited for today’s topic. It is something that I hear here so much in my inner circle with friends, family and colleagues. And it’s all about burnout, future chasing and how to be present and have gratitude for where we’re at right now in life. So I’d like to welcome our guest, Tiffany Wilson. Tiffany is a wife, mother, travel lover and self described roller coaster enthusiast and spirited high fiver. She started her career with a boutique marketing agency and has since gone on to work with recognizable brands like Dell and Walmart. She is currently head of social media for Comcast, NBC Universal and was born and raised in southern California. Tiffany and her family relocated to Pennsylvania in 2020 at the height of the Covid-19 pandemic. She currently lives in Philadelphia with her husband and two kids.

Welcome to the show, Tiffany. It is so good to have you.

[00:02:15] Tiffany Wilson: Thank you so much. It’s good to be here. Karen.

[00:02:18] Karen Stones: Yeah. So many of our mutual friends have been begging for me to have you here on the podcast because of all of your life experiences and your wisdom. So we’re really excited to have you.

[00:02:32] Tiffany Wilson: I am flattered. I am flattered. I hope I live up to their expectations. That’s very kind.

[00:02:41] Karen Stones: Well, Tiffany, can you give our listeners a little bit of background about who you are, your life the last 20 years, and what you’re here to talk about today, which is really how to avoid future chasing and recover from burnout.

[00:03:01] Tiffany Wilson: Yes. Well, hi everyone who’s listening. My name is Tiffany Wilson. I am a Southern California native, born and raised most of my life. I lived in southern California in the South Bay area. I was born in Carson, California, went to college in Los Angeles at USC, and then moved to Orange county to go to grad school for business at UC Irvine, stayed in Orange county for 14 years, lived, worked for a long time and had two of my kids in Irvine and then moved back to Pasadena to continue to pursue my career in tech. So I spent most of my career in marketing, communications, branding of some sort in the tech space and, yeah, then back to Pasadena and then the pandemic hit and decided I wanted to go on an adventure. And so my whole family packed up and moved to Philadelphia in 2020.

[00:04:10] Karen Stones: In the middle of 2020.

[00:04:11] Tiffany Wilson: In the middle of 2020, yeah. We were just working, living, learning from home under one roof, looking at the same four walls and a the job called in Philly. And we said, we can do this from anywhere. So we packed up.

[00:04:26] Karen Stones: Wow.

[00:04:27] Tiffany Wilson: Started a life here and we’ve been here ever since.

[00:04:30] Karen Stones: Wow. You know, just finding a mover in 2020 was hard. I moved as well, and it was almost mostly a rider truck rental situation. It was so difficult to find help.

[00:04:44] Tiffany Wilson: Oh, my gosh. Finding help to move and then deciding when you move, how do you get there? And so moving across the country in 2020 was at that time, it was what, October? And so there was no vaccine if you wanted to get vaccinated. We were still unsure of what we were dealing with and so you didn’t want to get on a plane, really. Right. So we packed up a sprinter van with my two small children.

[00:05:14] Karen Stones: Oh, my gosh.

[00:05:16] Tiffany Wilson: Across the country in a sprinter van. And we needed that because we wanted the bathroom on board. We didn’t want to have sightsee stop at restaurants. Everything we needed was in that sprinter van. And we just drove all the way across the country in a week and we had all of our things shipped, including our cars.

[00:05:36] Karen Stones: Wow. So you’re in Philly right now?

[00:05:39] Tiffany Wilson: Yes. Yes, I am. I’m in Philly. And I never thought I would have ended up here, but we love it here. It’s amazing.

[00:05:46] Karen Stones: Great, great. So tell us about what your career progression has been like. My understanding is you’ve been at some pretty incredible companies.

[00:05:55] Tiffany Wilson: I have. I would say I started my career in tech at Motorola. That was one of the first jobs I got where I felt like I was launching my career. And I got it from an internship, funny enough, in between the first and second year of my MBA program, and then I ended up at Western Digital. So I went there and that’s where I really got into writing and communications and how do I say the right things to make people want to buy? And kind of using that psychology background I had when I studied in undergrad, but that’s kind of where, where I started and just, just stayed in tech for the most part. Ended up at Dell for a number of years, where a lot of the folks that you and I have in common are from, which turned into Quest.

Quest Software over in Aliso Viejo, was there for a bit and then eventually landed at Walmart. Funny enough, in the retail space. It was kind of this interesting transition between marketing and communications and then going into media relations, which I didn’t really have a background in, but I knew how to communicate. I knew how to get messages across and get people interested in the storytelling of it all. And I think it’s all connected. And so I was with Walmart for several years, doing media relations, crisis communications, as you can imagine. Quite interesting at a retail giant like Walmart, really. And I had the west, so I was responsible for all their stores and events and anything that was happening in the west, from wildfires to, unfortunately, crime and shootings and all the things you.

[00:07:48] Karen Stones: Really transitioned from high tech over to consumer side. And where are you now?

[00:07:56] Tiffany Wilson: Now I am in Philadelphia. That’s what brought me here to work for Comcast, NBC Universal. So their headquarters are here in Philadelphia, and I’m doing digital communications and social media for them.

[00:08:12] Karen Stones: Yeah. So you’ve had quite a climb in your career over even just the last ten years, Tiffany. You have taken some serious leaps in how many people you are managing, the kind of projects you’re overseeing. What has that been like?

[00:08:31] Tiffany Wilson: It’s been exciting, but it’s also.

It’s a lot. Yeah, of course it’s a lot. I would say I have always wanted to do more to find bigger, go for better and strive. It’s just a part of who I am. And it’s just been ingrained in me from a very young age and always thinking, like, what’s next for me? What more can I do? How can I, like, look, am I doing the absolute best that I could be doing right now, or is this other shiny thing what I should be doing next? And I will say, as much as I’ve just described as, like, the highlights of what I’ve done, there have been lowlights, right? There are times in my career where I’ve made the wrong decision or took the wrong job, and it didn’t last very long or stayed in the wrong job for too long.

But I think overall, it sounds very. And I always tell this to younger people or people who look at my career and go, oh, my gosh, that’s amazing. You’ve done all these perfect things and made all the right decisions. It has impressed, been a perfectly linear path for me. But when I look back at how I got there and the moves that I did make it just got me to where I was eventually and where I was meant to be. But it was no way perfect by any means at all. But I do feel like I’m in the right place. And I love what I do. I love where I work. My family is happy, I’m thrilled. I get excited to go to work every day. No more Sunday scaries.

It’s a great place, and I love where I’ve landed.

[00:10:11] Karen Stones: That’s so great. Well, one of the things that you mentioned is striving, and I identify with that so much. In fact, I was looking up the definition of what future chasing is. And according to the Internet, which is always right, future chasing is constantly thinking about what is next, how to be better, and where your life is headed. And is that a curse or a blessing to think like that?

[00:10:46] Tiffany Wilson: Yes, it’s definitely a blessing. And I would say a curse and a trap. And I’m definitely a recovering future chaser. As I said, it’s gotten me where I am today. But there definitely have been moments where I haven’t been happy with what I had. And I couldn’t appreciate it because I was so busy looking for the next thing. And so I am definitely a future chaser. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. So I have a problem.

I am working on it. And I definitely have made. I’ve made some inroads in terms of improving myself, but it’s one of those things where it’s gotten me where I am today, but I don’t know. There’s been times where I’ve been like, oh, no, I should have just stayed where I was, or, oh, no, I’m ruining my relationship because I can’t be happy with what I’ve got, or I’m not focusing. I’m not present with my children because I’m thinking about that email that I have to send or that thing I have to do next, or what about this other job that I saw, or I just heard this, and that person who’s on a vacation, planning the next vacation. This is great. But, like, what if we went here? Yeah, but, yeah, it’s both. It’s a blessing and a curse, for sure.

[00:12:11] Karen Stones: I think that’s such a good answer. I am Karen, and I am a recovering future chaser, too. It is a struggle for me to be present in the moment, be grateful for what I have, and be okay with nothing more. And once again, that has served me well in my career. But at the end of the day, one of my mentors has told me over and over again. When you’re on your deathbed, you are not going to wish you made it to that conference call, that conference, that meeting. You’re going to wish you made it to that dinner party, that dance recital, that soccer game. So choose wisely. And that’s something that I think I’m understanding more and more as I enter into middle age here.

[00:13:05] Tiffany Wilson: Yes, I agree. I think this is when we start to.

I don’t know if it’s too. It’s never too late, but I wish I’d realized it sooner. Right. That being present is so important and you get so much more out of it. But I will say I agree with you. When, as I was growing up, it was so important for me. Like, I felt like this future chasing, this striving, this forward looking, and always thinking about what’s next. It served me so well because I was the youngest of four kids. My siblings are so much older than me. My sister is the closest to me in age, and she’s 16 years older than me. My two brothers are even several years older than her. And my parents, you know, by the time I came around, they had already done it. Like, my sister was almost out of the house. Right. And so they had learned so much about what my siblings did and didn’t do. Right, according to them.

[00:14:07] Karen Stones: Right. Yes.

[00:14:08] Tiffany Wilson: So I think by the time I came along, it was very much a. Okay, you have to do this and don’t forget that. And always plan and be ready, and this is how you’re going to succeed in life. And are you getting that? Take a note. You know, that was kind of the way I was raised. And what a blessing to have parents to prepare you for what life is all about and to instill all of those things into you, but then they never really go away. Right. So if my whole life, I’m thinking about, okay, I have to make sure I study for this test so that. That I can. Okay, I know. Next week, I have to prep for this. I’m gonna write this down. I’m gonna journal this, because this is what I envision for myself. And in order to get there, I need to take these steps. It’s always about planning and precision and studying and being prepared. And so, yes, that’s great when you’re a kid, and it’s great when you’re a teenager. It’s great when you’re starting out in your career. It is once you’re in a committed relationship, once you have your own kids and you’re still doing that. Okay, what’s next? What’s new? What do I have to do? How do I prepare for this? You lose out on the things, the people, the experiences that are happening right now because you are so busy chasing that next thing and chasing your future that you don’t have that gratitude for where you’re at and what you already have. And so it’s a tough thing to manage once you get to the age that we are now. When we go, okay, well, we’ve done so much. We’ve accomplished so much. Like, how do I now be grateful? And how do I now say thanks and enjoy the things that I work so hard to achieve?

[00:15:55] Karen Stones: Yeah. Yeah. Well, one of the things that’s often paired with this future chasing sort of Persona that you and I have both been so good at taking on and we are trying to shed, is burnout. And I hear almost every week with a conversation with a close friend or colleague, I’m burned out. What does burnout mean to you, Tiffany?

[00:16:21] Tiffany Wilson: Burnout means you are overwhelmed and you’re underwater and you have so many things that you need to get done that you are paralyzed. That’s what burnout means to me.

[00:16:35] Karen Stones: What a good definition.

[00:16:37] Tiffany Wilson: You can’t get it done because which one do you start with? And how do you even finish when you know it’s impossible?

[00:16:45] Karen Stones: Yeah, yeah, I was just reading. So burnout is commonly defined as a state of complete mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.

[00:16:58] Tiffany Wilson: That’s it.

[00:16:59] Karen Stones: Yeah. I don’t think that’s a state that anyone desires to be in and hopes to be in. Yet this future chasing, it’s almost inevitable that you will experience burnout if you are one of these folks who is chasing the next best thing. I was looking up what are the top four common causes of burnout and working? Too much lack of supportive close relationships, too many responsibilities without enough help and not enough sleep.

[00:17:37] Tiffany Wilson: Oh, no, I’m in trouble. I don’t sleep. Nearly.

[00:17:43] Karen Stones: Yeah.

[00:17:44] Tiffany Wilson: Looking. Karen.

[00:17:46] Karen Stones: Yeah.

Some other signs that you are prone to burnout. I thought this was really interesting because I think you’re going to raise your hand on all of these as well. You’re a high achieving person in nature. You have perfectionist tendencies. You need to be in control. And a lot of those once again, serve you at the right place at the right time. But we need to consciously shed those as we journey into this place of middle life when they’re no longer serving us anymore.

[00:18:25] Tiffany Wilson: I totally agree. Control is a tough one because I wouldn’t consider myself as someone who needs to be in control or control freak but it’s totally true. It’s totally true. Because the reason why I over plan is so that I know what to expect. Well, I’ve done all the steps. If I do these steps, then this future is secured. Right. And that is definitely a form of control. And when you feel overwhelmed and burned out, you feel out of control. And for a person like me, that is the worst feeling because you feel like I can’t now I can’t do anything about it. I’ve lost my sense of scheduling and planning and purpose because I can’t put this onto a checklist and then achieve all the tasks that I’ve assigned to myself.

[00:19:20] Karen Stones: Yeah.

It’s so interesting you say that the need to control is absolutely. It hones in on you when you’re out of control. And one of the things, the funny things that I have found myself doing when things are out of control is cleaning because I can control that the carpet is vacuums and that the countertop is wiped down and that things look put together here. Meanwhile, you know, there’s kids screaming down the street, homework is not done. I’m behind on my work and I’m tired and I didn’t work out yet, but I’m cleaning because that makes me feel so great and so tidy.

[00:20:04] Tiffany Wilson: Yes. And I can put that thing in a box, close the box, seal it, and I’m done. Right. It’s very much, here’s what’s in my realm of what I can control. And so I will focus on that. Meanwhile, the other, the other things are falling apart.

[00:20:20] Karen Stones: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how have you regained balance in your life as you’ve been focusing so much on the recovering piece of not being a future chaser? What are you doing, Tiffany?

[00:20:37] Tiffany Wilson: First of all, I’m doing the best I can.

I don’t have it all figured out. But I do feel like practicing gratitude has been one of the best ways for me to start to be on this road of recovery. And it’s really about pausing. Like when I feel out of control or when I feel like, oh, I’ve got to do this thing. Or again, being on vacation, planning the next vacation, pausing. Taking a breath and looking around and going, oh, my gosh, I’m thankful for this. I’m grateful for that. And it could be the smallest things to the biggest things. So it could be, you know, anything from, you know, what.

Had a great night of sleep. My eyebrows look great today.

[00:21:24] Karen Stones: Love it.

[00:21:25] Tiffany Wilson: My skin. You know what happened today. Yes. I had enough water, you know, or I had a great meal and just pausing to reflect on that and looking at the people around me who I love and will love me unconditionally. And how are they doing? How are my kids doing? They’re pretty awesome. And so I get to look at them and go, you know what? You’re pretty awesome. I did a pretty good job with you, and you’re thriving, you know, and thinking about those things. So looking out, and then I think looking in, looking inward, too, of how much I’ve grown and what have I accomplished already? Not to think of what’s next, but while I worked really hard last week, and you know what? I deserve a break. And you know, speaking of cooking, like, I made a really good meal, and everybody ate all their food. And you know what? I’m a pretty good chef. Just taking the time to just appreciate yourself and appreciate who’s around. And then I’ve also noticed that I love to receive thank you notes. Do you like getting thank you notes?

[00:22:35] Karen Stones: Of course. Of course. And I. They’re kind of old school, though. Tiffany, people don’t do that anymore.

[00:22:42] Tiffany Wilson: Handwritten thank you notes. Mark my words. They’re making a comeback. It’s so good to physically write down and see it in front of you, what just happened, what someone did for you, what you appreciate for them. Right. And the person receives it, gets joy, which gives me joy. Love that. But also, I write thank you notes to myself.

[00:23:05] Karen Stones: No kidding. This is. Okay. This is a good tip. Tell me about this.

[00:23:10] Tiffany Wilson: I write a thank you note to myself if I worked really hard on something, I had a big presentation at work, and I was nervous. I was studying really hard for it. I made note cards. I had to get up in front of the whole communications team for the company, and I was just like, if I get through this, I will feel so good. I did. I felt like I crushed it. And I wrote myself, thank you, girl. You worked hard. You got good feedback, and you deserve it. And I keep that little note so I can go back when I’m spiraling or feeling out of control or overwhelmed, and I go back and look at that thank you note and grow. You know what?

I’m pretty darn good at what I do, and I’m not gonna let myself crush myself on a day that’s gonna last just for this moment when, you know, I’ve had so much, so much else to be grateful for. But it’s hard, and it takes practice. But I think I’m getting there.

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About the gratitude piece I do have a gratitude journal that sounds so cornball, cheesy, stupid, cliche. But it sits next to my bed, and I try, at minimum, to do at least ten items per day. I will sometimes just say, you know, I’m grateful for my warm cup of coffee, and I’m grateful that I had a warm bath, and I’m grateful that my, you know, children made it to school today. And sometimes it’s more thoughtful. I’m really grateful that the woman at the store took a moment to acknowledge me. And so it is all over the board. But I will tell you that pausing and being grateful, wherever you’re documenting that, if it’s in a note to someone else, a note to yourself, a journal, or even, you know, a notepad on your phone that you’re manually entering things into, they are very helpful to go back to when you’re not in a good place.

[00:26:11] Tiffany Wilson: Absolutely. We forget how much we’ve done, how much we’ve accomplished, how great we are, how much we’ve made someone’s day. Sometimes it’s good to get those reminders because, you know, future chasers, I think. You tell me if you agree. Sometimes self sabotage. Like, if things don’t go our way because we’re planning and we want to be in control. And so it’s like, ah, it’s not going to work out, and you kind of tear yourself down if it doesn’t go exactly as planned. And so I think it’s a good reminder to go, you know what? This might not be my best moment, but I’ve had some really good moments, and I’ve had more good moments and more good days than I’ve had bad days. I think any positivity you can pour into yourself helps you kind of get back on track and get back into the right frame of mind.

[00:27:03] Karen Stones: Yeah. Do you do any positive affirmations? Are you into that?

[00:27:08] Tiffany Wilson: I do.

[00:27:10] Karen Stones: Okay. I do, too.

[00:27:11] Tiffany Wilson: Okay. Tell me. Tell me all about it.

[00:27:14] Karen Stones: At first, I was actually at this women’s retreat with a bunch of women all different ages sharing ideas about how to be more present and confident. And I was telling people that I listened to these affirmations, and there are dozens of them that are free on YouTube. A lot of my favorite podcasters have specific episodes that are only affirmation type pieces. And I will listen to 15 minutes on walks or hikes of affirmations like, you are enough and you are smart and you have what it takes to succeed. And, you know, it feels cheesy at first, and then you realize it is good to celebrate yourself and to feel proud of who you are, what you’ve done and what you’ve accomplished. And that’s not something to be embarrassed about. It’s something to celebrate.

[00:28:18] Tiffany Wilson: Absolutely. I don’t have anything I listen to for these. I have my own that I’ve written down, and they’re kind of in a spiral note card type situation.

And it’s, you know, similar ones to ones you just said, like, you are smart, you are beautiful, you are enough, you are blessed, you are strong.

And so I have them in this set of cards, and I read through them. I try to read through them every day, but I definitely read through them when I do something that I’m proud of myself for and I’ll go back and find the card that applies.

Wait, which one? Yes. You are strong.

[00:29:07] Karen Stones: Yeah. You should, like, date those, you know, like, exactly. I was badass today. And here’s the date.

[00:29:14] Tiffany Wilson: Yeah. Here’s the proof.

[00:29:16] Karen Stones: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:18] Tiffany Wilson: You need those reminders.

[00:29:20] Karen Stones: I think so. I really do think so. What are some other tips that you have for our listeners about avoiding burnout in their lives?

[00:29:29] Tiffany Wilson: I reflect on sometimes those things that were so big and so important when I was younger, whether I was like, it was ten years ago sometimes it was one year ago, or when you were a teenager and how the world seemed to revolve around you or that moment or that thing you really wanted and how you felt like it was going to crush your world if you didn’t get it. And when you didn’t get that thing, you’re still here. You know, you still. You still made it. You’re still thriving. You still have the things that you’re grateful for. And so how much did that thing or that moment or that day or that year or that person you’re in a relationship with that was making you miserable really, really matter? Did you really, really need that thing? And so I think reflecting on those moments and going, you know what? Those are smaller as you kind of drive away from those, you know, that analogy of, like, the things that are really, really big when you’re next to it or in front of it, as you start to drive away, right? Time passes, it goes in your rear view. It gets smaller and smaller and less and less important to you. And so I kind of think about those moments in my life where I just, oh, my gosh, if I don’t have this boy, my life is over. If I don’t get this job, I just don’t know what I’ll do. And I didn’t get the boy, and I didn’t get that job. And you know what? I’m okay. And it wasn’t for me. And think about the things that happened because I didn’t get that thing that led to something else that ended up being beautiful. The people I met at this new job that I’m still friends with, or the opportunities that I got because I didn’t get that other opportunity. So I try to think of those things so that you’re not constantly like, oh, I have to have this thing, and I have to chase this goal until I get it. And then if I don’t get it, then it’s over. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, because you’ve had all or nothing moments. We all have. And it’s fine. You’re fine. We’re good. We’re thriving, and we’re strong. It says so on the card.

[00:31:42] Karen Stones: It says so on my affirmation, for goodness sakes.

There’s a saying that is more true than ever before as I evaluate my life. And that is what is meant for you will not pass you by. And isn’t that true? Isn’t that true?

[00:32:02] Tiffany Wilson: Yes.

[00:32:03] Karen Stones: Yeah.

[00:32:05] Tiffany Wilson: Well, the kids are all right. Look it up.

[00:32:09] Karen Stones: They are. They are. And with every child you have, they’re more and more okay. No matter what. Like, I remember I was very hyper concerned when my first child was born. I have three, and I’m like, they’re gonna be fine. You know? I’ve gotten better and better about losing the control factor with the more children I have, because it’s. You just can’t. It would lead to burnout.

[00:32:38] Tiffany Wilson: Yeah. And we learned from experience, even with kids, right? The first one, you want to wrap them in bubble wrap and put them in.

[00:32:46] Karen Stones: Yeah, it’s true.

[00:32:48] Tiffany Wilson: Yeah. You want to just protect them and make sure they’re safe, and then you have the next one, and you’re just like, I’ve done this before. The first one’s okay. This one will be all right. And then by the time you get to the third one, I’m imagine. I’m imagining you’re like, ah, you’re on your own. The other two will take care of you.

[00:33:06] Karen Stones: Yeah, sort of. Definitely. Most definitely.

Well, you know, as. As we were chatting a little bit more about burnout, I was doing some research, and this is sort of interesting. So these are some signs that your body is telling you you’re burnout, insomnia, exhaustion, headaches, and frequent illness. And here are some general mood and emotional states that you might be in if you’re experiencing burnout. Cynicism, negative outlook, irritability, difficulty concentrating, decreased productivity, and overall depression. And we go back to the future. Chasing that eventually always leads to burnout. And there’s this sort of, I don’t know, a zone where I think those future goals are really great and working towards them is positive. I think that gray area of knowing when you’ve gone overboard is easier and easier for us to understand at our age. And the older you get, I would imagine, you know, when you need to put those brakes on, what would you tell your 25 year old self, Tiffany?

[00:34:34] Tiffany Wilson: I would tell my 25 year old self that you will have what you focus on. So if you focus on lack, what you don’t have, what you can’t do, then that’s what you will feel like. That will be the state that you’re in. You’ll be in a state of lack. You’ll be in a state of negativity. You’ll be in a state of darkness because you’re looking for holes. You’re looking for what you need because it’s not there. And so, as we get older, I think we start to think as we focus more on gratitude. Gratitude forces you to see what is already there. It focuses on being grateful for the things that are within and outside of you and the people that are in front of you and being present. And so being in that state of presence, you have no choice but to go, okay, what is here, what’s around me, who are the people I care about? And it’s more of a focus on what is right, what exists, and what is it bringing to you? How is it making you better, happier, stronger, versus that lack negativity? So I think I would tell myself, you know, as much as I was striving for things, that’s great. But what do I have now that I can make better, perhaps, or bigger? Or how can I continue to improve myself? By looking at what I have versus kind of ignoring what was there and moving ahead of that. Right.

And so, again, it’s more about where you put your energy. If you put your energy in what you love and what you have, you really set yourself up for positive thinking and growth and making sure you get abundance right. You focus on abundance. How do I get more of the things that I already have, even if that thing is love, even if that thing is time versus. I have no time, I have no friends. I have. I don’t have that job I want. And so you just. You pour your energy into the thing that allows you to take. Like, you just close your eyes to what’s right in front of you. So 25 year old Tiffany could have done better. And going, oh, my gosh, you’ve. You’ve done so much so far, and, yes, there’s so much more to come for you. But pat on the back hug, you’re a rock star, and you will continue to be a rock star as you get wiser and older.

[00:37:11] Karen Stones: I love that. That’s such a great answer. I think I experienced one of a very difficult time in my, I would say late twenties. I was laid off because of some internal political reasons, and I had put my heart and soul into this position and my whole identity, my future chasing, was associated with this particular company, in this particular title. And I remember feeling like, who am I after that layoff and losing that job? And that was my first step into understanding that your job does not define you, but being a good mother might, but being a good wife or good friend or a good daughter, those are the kinds of things that you want to lead with in life, not your title or position.

[00:38:07] Tiffany Wilson: Yes, I 100% agree. 100%. You can contribute to a job, you can contribute to a company, but it is not who you are, because that company can move on. And what are you left with when they move on without you? It’s you. And if you haven’t taken the time, which I similar. I went through similar situations without taking the time to get to know yourself and again, express gratitude in yourself and where you are today and who you have around you, that is supporting you and taking care of you and loving you. Then again, that job is that when the job is gone, you focus on the lack of job. You focus on the lack of. Well, what do I have now? Nothing. Because I was so focused on that. I don’t know. I’ve been in a situation where I wasn’t with the company anymore, and then I had an amazing thing happen in my life where my husband sold some real estate, and we were blessed in that. The timing worked out with losing a job, but also being okay for a while to not have to immediately go, have to find another job. And I was so miserable that I couldn’t even. I couldn’t even be happy because I was just like, well, what do I do next? Who’s gonna want me now?

[00:39:31] Karen Stones: I know. Don’t you just want to hug that person right now and say, it’s gonna be okay, it’s okay.

[00:39:36] Tiffany Wilson: Go to Disney World, take some time off, and enjoy the fact that the timing worked out. But even in that moment, I was just like, who knows how long it’s gonna take for me to find the next job? I better start now. I don’t want to talk about this amazing thing that happened in our lives, because I just want to focus on the thing that I didn’t get or I don’t have anymore. Too bad. But we move on eventually. We get.

[00:40:05] Karen Stones: It is so easy to get stuck in a negative mindset, and that comes back to having tools that you can access that will get you out of that mindset. You know, the gratitude cards to friends, your gratitude journal, your self affirmations, all those pieces. When you start feeling like you’re slipping into that hole, you have something you can actively pick up and hopefully pull yourself out of. And, of course, there’s professional resources when you’re unable to do that. I strongly believe in therapy and also, you know, exercise as medicine and those kinds of pieces. But, yeah, I think there are so many people that are experiencing burnout, and I hope that some of the things we’ve talked about today can inspire them to begin the path to recovery.

[00:41:01] Tiffany Wilson: Yes. Well, I’ve learned some new things from you. I hope to get, I don’t know, the podcast that you’re listening to with the affirmations.

[00:41:09] Karen Stones: I will send it. You know what? I will add it in the show notes so some of the listeners can access those. They are so good. Some of them are five minutes, and some of them are ten. And once again, getting used to it. It feels sort of cheesy, but you can definitely feel comfortable after doing it a few times, and it really, truly does work well. Tiffany, you have been so fantastic. I hope we can have you back again. I’d love to talk about imposter syndrome with you. I think you would be a perfect person to banter about that with, given your broad experience in the workplace. And so I’d love to have you back soon.

But some of the things we love to do here are to make our listeners laugh a little bit and be a little bit nostalgic sometimes. So we like to play the game. You know, you are old when. And so I’ve got one for you, Tiffany. I think you will like this. Are you ready?

[00:42:17] Tiffany Wilson: I hope so.

[00:42:18] Karen Stones: Okay. You know you’re old. When you had a Walkman, do you remember those? Did you have one?

[00:42:26] Tiffany Wilson: I had a Walkman. I had a Casio. I had a Casio one. And then what was the Walkman was Sony. Right. So I think we had the Casio version because we bought it at Radio Shack.

[00:42:39] Karen Stones: Oh, yeah.

So good.

[00:42:42] Tiffany Wilson: I found out that was off brand. So eventually when my. When my Casio cassette tape player went out, I got the Sony Walkman. And then what was really cool was when the disc man came out and then I, like. You couldn’t tell me anything. I was hot stuff.

[00:43:02] Karen Stones: I know those. I. My Walkman was like yellow and gray. It was super ugly. But I thought it was the coolest thing.

[00:43:12] Tiffany Wilson: I definitely had one of those. What did you have? I was going to say on repeat, but that’s not quite. What. Did you rewind and play back on.

[00:43:21] Karen Stones: Your Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson.

But, like, I. Definitely some cheesy things, but some of them are still classics, you know, like cold hearted snake and. I mean, Janet Jackson has so much Madonna. You know, I was. I liked a lot of stuff, but. Yeah. What were you listening to?

[00:43:41] Tiffany Wilson: Same. Lots of Janet Jackson. I loved Paul Abdul. I thought you were going to say straight up.

[00:43:46] Karen Stones: Oh, straight up. Now tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So good.

[00:43:51] Tiffany Wilson: New edition I have.

[00:43:53] Karen Stones: Okay.

[00:43:54] Tiffany Wilson: Guns n roses.

[00:43:56] Karen Stones: Oh, nice.

[00:43:57] Tiffany Wilson: Gosh, I had so, I had so many tapes and then Michael Jackson for sure. I remember the first cd. I don’t know if you remember, your first cd I ever bought was ace of bass. Do you remember Ace of bass?

[00:44:12] Karen Stones: Yes, I saw the sign.

[00:44:14] Tiffany Wilson: That was the first cd I ever bought.

[00:44:16] Karen Stones: I saw the sign. Our listeners totally are going to have that stuck in their mind. I don’t think I’ll sing it because they’ll kill me, but yes. Oh, that. That is so good, Tiffany.

Okay, do you have one for me? You want to run by me? Oh, nostalgia or, you know, your old when. Do you have anything that, you know, your old when?

[00:44:40] Tiffany Wilson: And while I think of a nostalgic one, you know your old when you bend over to do a simple task like picking up a piece of paper or tying your shoes or something, and you throw your back out. Have you done this?

[00:44:54] Karen Stones: You’re out for days, you know. Okay, I’m gonna admit I have. Haven’t thrown out my back, but I know, so many people who have. My boyfriend was like, putting a seatbelt on and just turning around to turn to pull the seatbelt down, and he was in, like, pain for days. And it’s like basic movement, right? I guess our bodies are need more gentleness at this age. But, yeah, I think that is 100% accurate. I’ve seen it happen. I’m just waiting to be one of those very soon, I’m sure.

[00:45:31] Tiffany Wilson: I hope it never happens to you. I hope you don’t know the silliness and pain and embarrassment that is your back.

[00:45:41] Karen Stones: You know, a colleague that you, I think you would know. His name is Chris, and he is also in marketing communications.

He told me that he threw out his back when he was walking his dog and couldn’t get up from the street.

I was laughing because he’s a friend and I could kind of tease him about it, but he’s like, no, it was really, really bad, Karen.

[00:46:05] Tiffany Wilson: It can be dangerous, too. I most recently did it. My daughter was sick a few days ago, and she, you know, she stayed home from school and everything, and she was just like, I’m ready to go to bed. She’s eight. Like, I’m ready to go to bed. And I said, you know what? Don’t you move. I’m going to carry you to.

[00:46:26] Karen Stones: Oh, so sweet.

[00:46:28] Tiffany Wilson: Because mom is strong, right? It said so on the card. I am strong.

So I picked her up carrying her. She’s got her legs wrapped around my waist going up the stairs. I get to the second to last step, and my back, I could just feel it pop.

[00:46:46] Karen Stones: Oh, no.

[00:46:48] Tiffany Wilson: And I just let out the strangest noise, I’m sure. And she’s like, mom, are you okay? Are you okay? You can put me down. I was like, no, I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s fine.

But I did have to put her down while I was standing on the stairs. I couldn’t move. I could not move. Unfortunately, I didn’t fall. But it was just one of those things where, you know, core. I’ve got to work on my core. As you mentioned, exercise is important. I’ve got to do my Pilates and my yoga, so my core is strong, because for sure, that was embarrassing. That was. That was pretty bad. Mom should be able to carry baby upstairs.

[00:47:27] Karen Stones: Yeah, well, gosh, she probably weighs at least 75 pounds at that age, so, you know.

Yeah, so funny.

[00:47:36] Tiffany Wilson: At least 120. Yeah, she’s really. I don’t think she’s 70 pounds. I.

Yeah, I don’t have my act together.

[00:47:49] Karen Stones: Oh, Tiffany. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. It was so good to have you and we hope you’ll come back soon.

[00:47:57] Tiffany Wilson: I would love it. Thanks for having me.

[00:48:00] Karen Stones: And that brings us to the end of another episode. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. Okay, so if you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. If you’re loving what you hear. I would be incredibly grateful if you took just a moment to rate and review this show on your favorite podcast platform. It helps others discover us and it’s a great place to share your thoughts, suggestions, and ideas for future episodes. For even more exclusive content and detailed show notes, check out our website at. That’s spelled out 3564 dot. As always, a huge, huge thank you for spending time with me today during this episode. I appreciate that you tuned in. I’m going to leave you the same way I do every episode. Remember, it’s not too late, you’re not too old, and you’re definitely not dead. Okay, until next time, friends.

  • Karen Stones

    Show host Karen Stones is the creative heart of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. Born in 1979, Karen is a child of Generation X. As a podcast enthusiast, she noticed a major void in content catering to listeners her age. Karen found existing productions were either niche, evangelized negative perspectives on aging, or hosted by a well-meaning young adult who lacked the wisdom and life experience to provide meaningful insight. Thus, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour was born. The philosophy behind ThirtyFiveSixtyFour stands in stark contrast to the conventional midlife crisis narrative, advocating instead for midlife to be seen as a time of confidence, reinvention, growth, reflection, exploration and renewal.

    Karen has over twenty years of mass communication and marketing expertise. Her journey in media started early, as she interned for notable figures like Larry Morgan and Ryan Seacrest at the Los Angeles FM radio station STAR 98.7. During her university years Karen served as a disc jockey for the on-campus, student-run radio station. Following a successful career in the corporate world, she took the entrepreneurial plunge, founding 13 Jacks Marketing Agency in 2014. The agency currently oversees multimillion-dollar projects including global product launches, international events, specialized social media and advertising campaigns. Beyond her agency pursuits, Karen extends her expertise to coaching executives seeking to enhance their business strategies and personal growth. Based in Orange County, California, Karen is a dedicated mother to three and an outdoor enthusiast.

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About the Author

Show host Karen Stones is the creative heart of ThirtyFiveSixtyFour. Born in 1979, Karen is a child of Generation X. As a podcast enthusiast, she noticed a major void in content catering to listeners her age. Karen found existing productions were either niche, evangelized negative perspectives on aging, or hosted by a well-meaning young adult who lacked the wisdom and life experience to provide meaningful insight. Thus, ThirtyFiveSixtyFour was born. The philosophy behind ThirtyFiveSixtyFour stands in stark contrast to the conventional midlife crisis narrative, advocating instead for midlife to be seen as a time of confidence, reinvention, growth, reflection, exploration and renewal.

Karen has over twenty years of mass communication and marketing expertise. Her journey in media started early, as she interned for notable figures like Larry Morgan and Ryan Seacrest at the Los Angeles FM radio station STAR 98.7. During her university years Karen served as a disc jockey for the on-campus, student-run radio station. Following a successful career in the corporate world, she took the entrepreneurial plunge, founding 13 Jacks Marketing Agency in 2014. The agency currently oversees multimillion-dollar projects including global product launches, international events, specialized social media and advertising campaigns. Beyond her agency pursuits, Karen extends her expertise to coaching executives seeking to enhance their business strategies and personal growth. Based in Orange County, California, Karen is a dedicated mother to three and an outdoor enthusiast.

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